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Sunday, January 16, 2011

The Arrakis of Communication


Fuck AT&T. yeah. I said it. Like you haven't thought it.

So, I've been twiddling my thumbs since 1/5/11. Seems AT&T didn't think to waterproof any of their equipment here in Los Angeles, and found themselves "unprepared" for the recent biblical deluge we had prior to and over xmas.

Now, i should state here, the Old Man and i decided a while back that smart phones would be a waste of time and money. As much as we might be lured by their flashing lights and silly hand acrobatics, we decided that the money could be better spent on things like therapy and cheesecake. Besides, we've got our wireless network at home. Who needs a smart phone?

*grumble*

I never thought i was this much of an internet junkie. But two days down, and i will willing to sell my virtue for a few minutes on Facebook. Ok, not my virtue PER SE, but i was certainly willing to forget my upbringing and open up a can of whoop-ass on every AT&T operator i could actually get on my cell phone. NOTHING more infuriating than being told my a recording that i could save time with this call by going to their website that i couldn't currently access due to their antiquated and bizarre wiring system.

seriously, 4 days in i broke down in tears. TEARS. over the inability to look up inane shit and song lyrics.

Not to mention that prize FB status about someone's cat.

as the Irish say, for fucksakes!

now, withdrawal complete, i found i was in fact able to get some chores done. i'd love to say i was a better parent--but the kid had a fever for a few days, and didn't need much more from me than an occasional snuggle, a DVD change or an unending supply of watered-down juice. So i read through the remaining books on my Kindle, did tons of sudoku, actually paid attention to one of Ben's train videos and folded the laundry.

and when all of that was finished, I quietly plotted the demise of AT&T.

I won't bore you with the multiple tech trips to the house, the various, "well i'm not approved to fix that problem" and the constant crating of my chihuahua--since they are viewed as the most fierce of house dogs. Suffice it to say, the line was FINALLY fixed last night--an hour before we were about to go out. enough time to download the 600+ emails waiting for me (wow--do i need to unsubscribe from some stuff)and alert my friends and family that i was finally back in the 21st century.

NOw that kind of sacrifice and subsequent visionquest would be useless unless i learned a few lessons:

1) there's only so much solitaire you can play...

2) Perhaps i shouldn't be surprised that my son has issues with paying attention in school or being distracted.

3) sacrifice is good--if you mean by sacrifice gutting a goat on an altar to appease the technology gods.

4) Watching a AT&T stooge fight the organic overgrowth, fight off neighbor dogs and climb a difficult pole two days before Time Warner Cable is coming out to give us new and BETTER internet is indeed a point-and-laugh worthy activity.

And for those of you even vaguely paying attention, my 30 day posts will resume tomorrow...

4 comments:

hunterslyonesse said...

No sacrificing the goat in my presence if you please. :P Glad you're back online! And yeah, you know. Smart phones are good for more than just entertaining you. I can look up a recipe without having to log in to the laptop and drag this behemoth to the dining room while I cook. In fact, I looked one up at the grocery store today because I changed my mind about what I was going to cook tonight. lol

solodialogue said...

It's funny that this is the first time I've seen your actual website from a computer rather than my phone and this is the post I read! Love how you have it all set up. I too get my recipes on my phone and use it in the kitchen. Also, the phone is very convenient on my lifecycle, waiting rooms, in the bathroom, etc.....BTW, are you getting that smartphone now?

This side of Typical said...

@Solo--not yet. Once we get our land phone and internet solidified then we start shopping for a new mobile carrier. Perhaps with that will come phones that have a higher IQ than the dinosaurs we carry...

Lynn said...

OK, Laura Ingalls Wilder. Seriously, what did we do before we had this stuff? It really wasn't all that long ago, but I can't remember. I think that I read some books.

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