Tuesday, February 22, 2011

the somewhat engaged but otherwise distracted duo

So, the Old Man and I actually got a chance to get out of the house the other night for our weekly respite date--the one we've had to cancel twice this month due to illness. so, come hell or high water, we were determined to get OUT of the house at least for a few hours.

But since we were still recovering, we decided an action movie was the best choice--to keep us awake, if you will. We decided against Unknown, as it seems like the same movie we've seen a number of times over the years. Our only other choice, really, was the Green Hornet--which we both wanted to see. Little did we know we'd be more entertained by the audience rather than the film itself.

[aside--the film itself was …meh. some parts funny, others not. cool stuff going on, but the scenes were a little drawn out too much, and we kept waiting for something cooler to happen. Seth Rogen saved the movie--and I mean if someone other than Rogen had made the movie, it would have been more boring.]

When the lights went down a tall skinny dude--let's call him Lionel--came in and sat down in the row in front of us. Nothing to remark upon--just a late arriver.

Shorty thereafter, a very large man--we'll call him Julius--looking remarkably like comic book guy from the simpsons--and I mean, this may be the guy upon whom he is based--LITERALLY-- came in, stood by our seats for a long time, then moved to the row before us and asked Lionel to move over. At first we thought this was a random thing, and rather strange, but then we realized they knew one another. Perhaps the head to head conversation about how Bruce Lee was the original Cato tipped us off.

As the movie began to lose our attention, Julius and Lionel began to engage it.

These guys were the classic comic book reading, online gaming, star trek watching, multiple variable equation solvers that rarely step out of their dens, if only to see movies involving one of the above topics.

And these guys were a little different, as they are not as dedicated as their brethren--or else they would have seen this movie a few weeks ago when it actually came out. Oh no--it took time for them to actually leave the safety of their compound and stray out into public. Notice how they could not come into the theater when it was lit--no only under the cover of darkness my friends.

WE began to notice them when they began to reiterate what was JUST SAID on the screen--in case we hadn't heard it. But afterward they were quiet, so you couldn't say anything to them about being loud (unlike Sheila and isabel across the way who had to be shushed repeatedly)

So then we began to study them, this slightly dynamic duo. Lionel kept picking up this large ziploc bag that held some sort of treat or plastic explosive--and examining it in the movie light--trying to discern no doubt the difference between chocolate covered raisins and circus peanuts--or whether the detonator had been attached.

And occasionally they would put their heads together to discuss some anomaly on the screen--quietly though, so we couldn't really hear--such as the fact that a number of these scenes were "debunked" on mythbusters as a poor attempt to promote the film, and wouldn't it be great to spend some time with that awesome redhead, Kari, but only if she were dressed like princess Leia--yeah!. We could only speculate, of course.

No doubt these two ventured out of their online fantasy world in order to research their own plans to fight crime on the side. I mean, they were the perfect duo--opposite in looks, smarter than their surroundings and a certain penchant for tights. Julius in particular--with his great rotund belly that couldn't even let him sit forward in his seat and facial hair to make a pre-pubescent teen green with envy. Oh yes, a superhero in the making.

Now, perhaps I shouldn't poke fun--perhaps this mediocre duo will one day save me from buying the incorrect router for my network, all the while laughing at my ineptitude and inability to write html. Or perhaps they will create an online world in which I and others like me will be mocked mercilessly for the automobiles we drive and the fact that we've never been inside a comic book store.

Or perhaps, guys like this will be the men my son befriends in the future. These may be the boys that hang out in my basement, with my son, building robots and writing software, and talking about inapproachable red-heads.

In any case, the Old Man and I were glad to have the distraction, and were comforted to know that such stalwart youth were ready to take on each villain and bad guy that threatens our wireless network. Continue your selfless work, gentlemen. And redheads beware.