30 day project: Day 1

Post a picture of yourself with 10 facts


10 things about me:

1. I have the ability to memorize the most inane shit, but have real trouble doing math in my head. My mother says I memorized Green Eggs & Ham very young, and I remember reciting Jabberwocky (Alice in Wonderland) early on. But DO NOT ask me to estimate the price of the collective items in my cart.

2. I have two bachelor's degrees (History & Religious Studies) and a CA teaching credential. I taught for 7 years in South Central Los Angeles. After being professionally burned out, I am now a SAHM, a seamstress, amateur tarot card reader, jill of a few trades, and wedding officiant.

3. I will dye my hair until I am dead (or get preggers again). My natural hair color is the color of boredom. (look close in the picture--my roots are getting bad--but dont' look too long, you might just fall asleep out of sheer boredom)

4. I've been trying to get pregnant for over a year now, and am getting discouraged. I turned 40 this year (well, last year, technically) and it's like the warning light lit up my dash, and I've got a gut feeling that my body isn't going to cooperate any time soon. And yes, I've tried a myriad of "remedies" and have no desire to try anything artificial.

5. I realize it isn't the thing to say, but I'm not in the "I can recover my child" bastion of Autism moms. I am not part of the Jenny McCarthy mother-warrior crowd. That doesn't mean I sit around and bemoan the fact that my son has autism. Nor does it mean that I doubt that the tactics that these moms are using aren't having effects on their child. It doesn't mean I don’t try some of the same methods/diets/voodoo to help my son. I realize he's got a struggle ahead of him, and I strive to give him the best tools he needs. But I also recognize that what works for one kid on the spectrum doesn't necessarily work for another. I realize that makes me a bad mom in the eyes of some. And all I can say is--if it does, then maybe those eyes need to be pointed elsewhere? I respect your GFCFSFcornF life. I'm not saying you're wrong. But what works for your boy hasn't really worked for mine, so imma skip the DAN! doctor for now, and would like it if you'd roll your eyes at someone else.

6. I've got this weird ability to read people really well. I think I am reading micro-expressions, but couldn't tell you exactly. I just know 99% of the time when I am being lied to. Doesn't mean I act on it, but I am aware. Its kind-of a bummer, really. I think I'd rather be ignorant.

7. I get really annoyed with people trying to push their agenda on me or others. (see #5) I get that sometimes you find a lifestyle choice that really works for you, but I have no desire to be a vegan or go on a mission. Thank you.

8. I am a certified officiant of the Church of Light, and can perform weddings. I have only performed one to date--and it was one of the most awesome spiritual experiences of my life. I really hope gay marriage is legalized, because I would love to help anyone create a ritual that enriches their lives.

9. I have NOT lost the baby weight. Ok--I've lost half of it, but the rest is killing me. Not that I'm trying real hard. I have a love affair with pastries and baked goods that is seemingly compulsory and horribly addicting. Quitting smoking was easier. (not)

10. Internally I am a hypochondriac. I don’t express it much--but I work out the worst case scenario in my head ALL THE TIME. Chest pain? I'll have a heart attack on the freeway. Constipation? A blockage that will make my intestines explode. Headache? tumor. This is my internal dialogue, and I'd like it to shut up.

I hope this has given you some insight into my insanity. And maybe now you'll understand why I am such a hermit. That and I just dislike people. Except you. I like you.

--D