You like me. You really, REALLY like me, kinda.

So I've finally received one of the fantastic awards that float around the blog-o-sphere that make us realize people other than our family actually read the shit--er, stuff that we write. wow. I don't know what to say. I didn't prepare a speech.



This auspicious award was created by jillsmo over at Yeah. Good Times. If you read her blog, you might think we're related. I think we just drink the same liquor in similar qualities. This stunningly beautiful and creative reward was bestowed upon me by Apples & Autobots, who no doubt spends her time trying to figure out ways to shame others into participating.

Here are the rules: (you'll have to pardon the foul language. Jillsmo must have been channeling my inner demons when she created this)

1. You must proudly display the absolutely disgusting graphic that I have created for these purposes (put it in your post, you don't have to put it in your sidebar, I think that would seriously be asking too much). It's so bad that not only did I use COMIC SANS, but there's even a little fucking jumping, celebrating kitten down there at the bottom.It's horrifying! But its presence in your award celebration is crucial to the memetastic process we're creating here. If you need a higher resolution version... I totally have one!!

2. You must list 5 things about yourself, and 4 of them must be bold-faced lies. Just make some shit up, we'll never know; one of them has to be true, though. Of course, nobody will ever know the difference, so we're just on the honor system here. I trust you. Except for the 4 that you lied about, you lying bastards! But don't go crazy trying to think of stuff, you'll see by the example I've set below that we're not really interested in quality here.

3. You must pass this award on to 5 bloggers that you either like or don't like or don't really have much of an opinion about. I don't care who you pick, and nobody needs to know why. I mean, you can give a reason if you want, but I don't really care.

4. If you fail to follow any of the above rules, I will fucking hunt your ass down and harass you incessantly until you either block me on Twitter or ban my IP address from visiting your blog. I don't know if you can actually do that last thing, but I will become so annoying to you that you will actually go out and hire an IT professional to train you on how to ban IP addresses just so that I'll leave you alone. I'm serious. I'm going to do these things. Starting with the 5 of you I'm about to pass this award on to.

So, in an effort to be a team player, or at least indulge in some sort of role playing fantasy where people actually listen to me and are amused by what i write:

1. As a child i had a dog, a hamster, a parakeet, 20 fish (not all at once), two cats and a rabbit. They're all dead. And i'd rather not talk about it. OR the various piles of dirt in the back yard.

2. In college, i had a 7am fencing class for which i showed up 40% of the time (sober) and i still passed.

3. I have a lovely rose garden out back full of champion roses that i tend with great care and delicacy. I've won myriad awards at the county fair.

4. I love broccoli.

5. I brew my own beer and mead.

Now to pass on this presitgious award to someone worthy: (hah hah! *rubs her hands together*)

1. Debi at Hunter's Lyonesse (because she is my BFF--awwww)
2. Chase at Chaseblogger
3. The Frustrated Teacher
4. Laura at Preoccupied
5. Jodi at the Mean Mom--not that she actually READS my blog or even knows i exist.

it's on bitches.